It’s okay to rest.
Is it? Resting is SO HARD to do. Even when you know you need to rest. If you are like me, you might attempt to rest every now and then but the moment you sit or lie down to make that attempt, your mind is flooded with the never-ending list of things that you have to get done or else!
But a dear friend reminded me today that it’s okay to rest. And right now, I have no choice.
Update on my (Emmie’s) back issues. I’ve received a steroid shot to help with the intense pain in my lower back. Physical Therapy starts today. We have an appt scheduled to see a spinal specialist in 2 Fridays. This morning at my chiro appt the adjustment was….uncomfortable, and that is putting it nicely. Xrays were done yesterday. I assume I’ll get to see them at PT this afternoon. I’ve been lying on the couch or in bed since Sunday morning when we got home from church, with the exception of doc appointments and getting out this morning for a couple of hours. I’m resting. I’m exhausted. He, God, is *making* me rest. And it is okay.
You see….I realize that it isn’t beanie season right now. Crochet orders slow down this time of year. If ever I were going to start having back problems, or not be able to crochet, I suppose now is the time. But God has blessed my hands with crocheting so many things to help raise money for adoption. I realize that He brought in all of those orders….but how on earth will we raise this money without crocheting?! I know we will. I know He will provide. I mean, I know that deep down. But to pretend that this whole thing doesn’t cause me to be a little anxious would be a lie. We are not only raising money for adoption, but we are also saving up money to buy a new vehicle for when we bring our little one home from Lesotho. We need a vehicle for 3 carseats! Our current vehicles just won’t do. But wouldn’t you know as soon as we start setting money aside specifically for a new vehicle, I start having chiropractor appts, and PT, and back specialists….what? “God, what are You doing?” <–that is exactly what is running around in my head.
One day we will look back on this time and I know we will see the grace that He bestowed on us. But for this moment, I wish I could just see the plans He has going on, working together for good, for His glory, rather than sitting here, or rather laying here on this heating pad, wondering what kind of craft I can figure out to do while laying on my back to raise money to bring our child home.
My friend is one of those friends that the Lord speaks through right at the time when you need to hear Him. She is so sensitive to His leading and it is a beautiful gracious sign in my life that He is right here with me. I’m just going to put a little in here of what her email said:
“Praying for you today. Praying for relief from pain! Also praying you can be still and know that He is God- your provider- even when He’s making you rest…
He maketh me to lie down in green pastures..ps 23